Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
