i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
