I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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