I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
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