Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
