The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
