butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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