I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
