Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
