There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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