when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
