what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
