Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This toilet bowl is my home.
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