Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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