He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
