he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This toilet bowl is my home.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
