I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
