Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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