Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
