I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
