we're blogging at a bar
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I AM VODKA MAN
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
