my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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