Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
