Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
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If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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