ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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