he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
