What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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