so that wasnt chicken after all
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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