Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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