Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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