you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
