I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
