even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
