i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
