he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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