so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize