Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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