let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
