i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
