Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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