his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
