Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
