At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
