ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
