Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
