i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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