I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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