My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize