I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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