I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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