I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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