I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
