do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
