They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
