If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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