so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
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I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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