I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
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complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize