talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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