this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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