My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
