don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
