A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
