Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
